Clarity and Homecoming

I worry
I weigh three times my body
I worry
I throw my fear around

But this morning
There's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted
Only diamonds now remain

By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light pretending
That it somehow lingers on

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't cos it can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to

Was there a second of time I looked around
Should I sail though or drop my anchor down
Is anything enough to kiss the ground
And say I am here now and she is here now

So much waisted in the afternoon
So much sacred in the month of June
How bout you?

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
That it won't and it won't and it won't
And I will pay no mind
Worry 'bout no rainy weather
And I will waste no time
We may not live our lives together


The above lyrics are from the song "Clarity" by John Mayer and it's my song of the moment. The same way that "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's was my song of moving out to New York, "Clarity" is my song about going home. In case you haven't heard yet, I'm on my way home in less than 12 hours. Home to stay. I'm VERY excited about it! As excited, if not more so, than I was to move out here (because this time I know what to expect!).
It has taken me approximately three months of city life to realize it's not for me. I don't like the people, or the pace. Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE New York City and it will always be one of my favorite cities in the world, but I don't care for living here. Now, a lot of people have told me that I didn't give it a chance and that I'm just homesick. Maybe to an extent those things are true. But I know that out here, right now, I can't live the life I would like to have in this city. I can't have have the things I want or the kind of place I want. And right now, having a calm, stable life is what is important to me. I feel comfortable in this move that I'm not leaving in defeat, but in my own terms. I know I could have stayed and done well at American Girl, or at any number of jobs that I have looked into and had positive response for. I think that eventually I could have had enough money to afford a place that's nice (like Zach's is! Oh my goodness!) and been able to afford the perks of living in the city (like a MoMA pass, the BEST place ever!!!), and maybe I'm too impatient, but I want to be happy now. I want to feel comfortable with where I am in my life now and I know that is farther off here than in La Crosse. So, home I go, in time for Christmas and Midsummer Night's Dream. In time to spend time with Jared before he leaves for Germany and then the desert. In time to actually enjoy living instead of feeling like I'm on hold like I have in my time here.
Now, I just have to learn how to really kick start life in La Crosse. I need a real job, hopefully one that I can enjoy. I need a routine. That's what I'm going to work on when I get home!
So you all know, I plan to keep up the blog, just find a new title for it. And keep an eye out for TONS of Christmas pictures and touristy things I've done in the past few days!

I knew I'd have a hard time with this thing...

Hello, all! I always have a hard time keeping up with internet communications, so I knew a blog would be a challenge. So, here's the general update.

I'm finished with my job at Halloween Adventure and have moved on to The American Girl Place. I absolutely love it!! I get to play with little girls and their dolls all day, and you can't beat that! That, and they pay me more than 3 dollars an hour more than HA. I'm just seasonal now, but I'm hoping to stay after the season, and then hopefully work on the 2nd floor with the historical dolls.

Beyond that, I'm working on moving in the next few days onto Manhattan island! I'm excited, but to be honest, I'm going to miss Queens a little bit. But overall, it will be a really good move.

I've been having a really good time between working and hanging out with Kelsey and Jared a lot. It's been nice to spend quality time with them both!

Anyhow, that's the basic update, I'll hopefully have some pictures to post in the next few days!

Page Six is the place to be!!

Well, I didn't end up making the Post, but our store, my boss Stella and Jason Biggs did! Here's the article, I at least can say I was the cashier! Check out page 6! (Page 6 is the celebrity page and a BIG deal to make around here...)

I also discovered the big city sister to the Warehouse, the Knitting Factory. One of my favorite bands, Ludo, played there a couple of days ago and I was shocked to find how much like the Warehouse it is. It was nice and it felt like home.

Tonight I went to see my friend Reed (check out his band Shoeless Revolution) play with his friend at the Bitter End on Bleaker Street in Greenwich Village. The Bitter End has seen the likes of Arlo Guthrie and Bob Dylan play in their heyday, and it was neat to see that little piece of New York history. That, and it's just a really neat area. A little too 'hipster' for my tastes, though. I think I like the more suburban type lifestyle you can find in Queens or Brooklyn.

I also learned how to insert hyperlinks. It's awesome!

Random Thought of the Day

I wish the appropriate response to
"what do you want to be when you grow up?" were

"...happy."

Just a quick update on my day...

Today was a fun day,
I was photographed by the New York Post as Sarah Palin at work. You can't see my face since it's a mask, but I'll still know it's me!
Later, I sold that mask to Jason Biggs.
Yeah, it was pretty cool.

A Life You Can Hang Your Hat On; or, Listening to Country Music in an Urban Wasteland

I came to a realization the other day listening to Montgomery Gentry on the Subway... I am not, and never will be a New Yorker. I am a suburban creature, and no matter how long this love affair with the city lasts, it will never be me. It's too full, there's too much stimulation and it's not a place where I find that I can build a life. Sure, I can for a while and I'll enjoy it and I'll learn a lot from it, but I can't do it forever. I want security and safety. And, the way I'm looking at it, that's not a bad thing. Especially if I've tried the fast paced, unpredictable city life. My hope is that at 50 years old I will look back at this time and be so glad that I did it and so glad that I'm not doing it anymore.

Getting ready for Christmas outside of Macy's!

In other news, today is my one month anniversary with the city! It's an exciting milestone, but today was also the day Jared left (he's been here about 9 days). It was considerably harder saying goodbye to him today than when he left the first time. Then, I had a whole new adventure ahead of me and a world full of unknowns. Now, while still an exciting adventure, I know what I'm in for. And I know that it's more enjoyable and more comfortable with Jared. Either way, we had a great time. We saw An American Carol and Righteous Kill and just spent a lot of time wandering around and eating wonderful baked goods from Martha's Country Bakery (http://www.marthascountrybakery.com/). Just living a nice, leisurely life. It was wonderful!!

Now, on to the next month. I hope to find a new job, one that makes a good salary, has benefits... is a career. I want to see what that's like. And, if I can afford my iPhone, get Doughnut the puppy, and save up some money for the Farm, so be it :)

We're goobers.

But cute!!

Good Samaritan Day, or: paying someone else to do your laundry for you is the best idea ever

The view of Manhattan from Queensboro Plaza train stop. This picture doesn't do it justice, it's a breathtaking view at night!

Today was a really good day. I worked all day, for the most part (11 hours) which was fine, but it was just a day when I noticed New Yorkers doing nice things for each other. It's such a great thing to see, especially when the city because for it's size and pace can feel so cold. It's nice to be reminded that we're all just people jammed in this big city for mainly the same reason and to know that other people must realize that, too, when they go out of their way for each other and for guests to this fine city. It made me really fall in love with the place that much more.



What else has made me fall in love with this city? The cost is the same whether you do your own laundry or pay somebody else to do it for you. I dropped off three weeks worth of laundry, gave them 15 bucks and it came back like this...

Bagged. Folded. Sorted. In a beautiful square pile. And the best part, no effort on my part!



In other news, my job is going quite well. I was supposed to be head cashier, but I've prooven to be more useful on the floor and in merchandising, so that's where I usually find myself. I actually enjoy putting together the displays and organizing everything. Enjoy it so much that I usually find myself staying late to help out. But, hey, it means more money in the paycheck! And I can sure use it! And it's a lot of fun working with Al! We're quite the comic duo at times. But I'm very glad he'll be gone this next weekend, as he's spent almost every waking hour at the store, he needs a vacation, badly. And I need the money, so his vacation and my needing work equals two 10 am to 10 pm days for me next weekend. Jared will be in town (Starting Sunday night!!! YAY!!!!!!!) but I have most of the next week off in order to be with him. I have an interview at a car dealership in Manhattan either Monday or Tuesday (I'm not sure which yet). I doubt anything will come of it, but it could be a REAL job with REAL bennifits and REAL pay! It's fun to dream. And then I can afford my iPhone!



Well, thanks for reading and I hope you're all well!

The Adventure begins, Halloween style.

Well, it's been a long week for not having accomplished much until today. And, since it's one in the morning, this will be a fairly short post. Here's the quick update...

I started working today at the Times Square branch of Halloween Adventure. Today was a ten hour day (yeah overtime!), all of which was used to start getting the store ready, which should open on Sunday or Monday. Ten hours of sorting costumes is a lot for anybody! And I'm back at it again tomorrow morning! But the big news on that front is, I'm the head cashier! I've never been a cashier before, so the choice boggles me a bit, but I'll take it and enjoy it! I hope it comes with a higher pay, but even if it doesn't if I get to be in charge, I think I'll be happier.

After work I went to my cousin Zach's place for the first time and let me tell you, it's beautiful! I met some of his friends and got to watch the presidential debates which was actually rather interesting.

Anyhow, since it's now 1 and I need to be up around 7, I'll say goodnight!

The Week One Update

It's, as of late tonight, one week since I've been a resident of New York City. The first few days were like vacation, but since Jared's left (he's back home now) it's become real living. Here are some pictures from when Lindsay W and Jared were in town, hanging out with Sam and I!

Hanging out at McCann's

Jared and I at a little place in Midtown.

"Photo Op" with Trekie Monster from Avenue Q! Great show!

Here are some pictures from the awesome new place I live!!!

Bryant Park, where Jared and I liked to stop while wandering Midtown.

I just thought this was neat.

Theatre row.

Since hanging out alone is lame, I've been spending a fair amount of time haning out with Al, a friend who I met rather randomly in college. He's sort of my big brother in the city. He's an actor and knows a ton of people (he seems to be mister right place, right time). The other evening I met him after work and we hung out at his place in Spanish Harlem and cooked dinner (amazing, amazing stirfry) and the next night we went to see Gypsy with Patti LuPone. That show was the MOST amazing this I've ever seen. The three leads all won Tony awards for their roles and, let me tell you, it showed. It was astounding. Here's some pictures!

Al, the Mrs. Dash salesman.

Our tasty stirfry!

The insanity that was the crowds outside of Equuis. They're all waiting to see Daniel Radcliffe... aka, Harry Potter.

Tonight, I'm having a date with myself. I went to Martha's Country Bakery and got a really tasty cupcake and watched When Harry Met Sally alone in my room and enjoyed every second of it. Sometimes, I just need time to unwind and be alone. Tomorrow I'm going to go to the New York City Church in Times Square. I'm sure it'll be the first in a line of church shopping!

Overall, it's been a good week. Surreal, but good. So, now it's off to see what the next week holds!

The First Reality Check

Alright, now it's real. Until last night/early this morning, in my own mind this was a vacation. Doing fun things like seeing shows, but the big this was having Jared here with me. Now that he's gone, it's real. Sending him off like that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, partly because I honestly didn't expect it to be THAT hard. Hard, yes, of course, but not that hard. "Just a few weeks" seems so very far away. But I know this will make being together again even better. Now on to find a job, get all of my stuff in order and make some new city friends! Hopefully my invitation to hang out with Al and his theatre friends tonight still holds. I've got some pictures from Sam, Lindsay W, Jared and I hanging out that I'll post later!

Here I Am!

Alrighty, the adventure has begun! Jared and I pulled into Astoria, Queens, New York City at about 2 AM Sunday morning!!! The drive was long, mostly because I was so anxious to be there. We got in and the first thing we saw was the friendly face of Andy rounding the corner on his way up to the apartment. We moved everything in upstairs then went for a quick bite to Mike's Diner near the Astoria/Ditmars subway station (it's the Perkin's of Astoria, but Greek).

We tried to win rush tickets for Avenue Q last night, but didn't win (Jared attributes it to his winning both Monopoly and Risk in the recent past) so we wandered around Manhattan, stopped at a few stores, sat in Bryant Park and looked at all the pretty, pretty lights. Then we went back to Astoria to meet Lindsay W and Sammy at McCann's (http://www.mccannspubnyc.com/) on Ditmars just a few blocks from the apartment. It was a nice little bar that I'm sure I'll be frequenting soon enough. It's so nice to have no smoking in all bars!!!

Now, I'm going to go back to bed!! G-night!

I'm a Terrible Person, or: My Own Personal Hell

Karaoke bars are possibly the worst idea ever. Ever. Especially when they're in a little dying town in Pennsylvania. Let me let you in on my world a little...

Yup. It was really and truly that bad. Best part, Jared and I couldn't leave because we didn't have a car and even if we borrowed someone's, we had no idea how to get back to town.

Here's what the bar looked like, since you can't tell in that video...

Check out the blonde hair, orange shirt on the left... that's a tranny.

A really, really bad tranny.

Missy and Tom, the kids are lucky we still love them ;)

And Angry Sam in the background. An angry, angry Jared.

When they make a movie of our lives, this will be a scene. I tell ya, I need a bar full of well dressed, snobby 'mo's, overpriced cosmo's and the bright lights of the city. And Mozart Cafe cake. That stuff is amazing.

I'll update again when we FINALLY make it to the city!

The Last Few Days...

It's been a wild last few days. The Military Ball weekend in Minneapolis was wonderful and Jared and I were just the most handsome couple ever :) I'll have a picture of both of us later, but here's what I took of myself.

Then it was back home to finnish packing and head out. I left my room more of a disaster than I wanted to, but I suppose there are worse things. Then Jared and I left my house at around 11:00 pm central time. It was the most surreal feeling ever leaving home for the first time. Sure, I haven't lived at my parents house for a long time, but La Crosse has always been my home. I've gone away on trips for extended periods, but I've never moved. Yes, I cried, but somewhat less than I though I would. Either way, we were off, Jared holding my hand the whole way.

This is what 4:00 in the morning looks like when you've been driving for five hours.

And this is what 9:00 in the morning looks like.

We arrived in Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburg, at about 4:00 in the afternoon and went right to Jared's friends Tom and Missy's house. I was excited, if not a little nervous, to meet them but they were very friendly right away and Missy and I have hit it off quite well. I'm glad to fit in. Then we met up with some other folks, had dinner and played around with the kids for a while.

And then today has been a lazy, sleeping day. Missy made us from scratch biscuits and gravy for breakfast (at 2:00 this afternoon) and now we're just tooling around the house and deciding what fun we'll have tonight!

I'm excited and fairly anxious to get into the city, though. But just a day or two more!!!! I'll be posting then!!

And the fun begins!

Welcome to my blog! I'm currently located in Wisconsin, getting ready for the big move on Monday! I have two days left to pack and get everything in order, then I'll be in Minneapolis for the weekend, and then Jared and I are off to head east!

Now, for the first blog, I've decided an introduction to the likely cast of main characters is in order...

Amanda- that's me. A young college graduate with a degree in theatre who has decided to test herself by moving across the country to a strange, large city.
Jared- Amanda's boyfriend. He's NOT moving to New York, but is dropping her off there. He is a reserve Airman and the other part of his heart belongs to the US military. Jared and Amanda have not been together for too long, but have quickly fallen head-over-heels in like with eachother and are on the relationship fast track. We'll see how distance tests their relationship.
Jana- Amanda's friend from college, the wonderful lady she's renting her room from.
Kelsey- Amanda's best friend in the whole, wide world. They've been together since high school and Kelsey will be in the second wave of moving to Astoria.
Al- A fine young man who Amanda met by chance in Wisconsin. A fellow actor and a guy who's turned out to be a wonderful friend!
Sammy (or just Sam)- A good friend from Wisconsin, who along with Jana were the first wave of Wisconsinites in Astoria. Amanda will be relying on him for a lot of moral support.
Tom and Bob- A pair of Kelsey's friends who have become Amanda's friends. They are both recent transplants from Wisconsin to Astoria.
Reb- Amanda's mother's best friend's daughter. The girls grew up only seeing eachother for a few days in the summer because of distance, but the internet has kept them in contact and fate has now brought them to the same city.
Zach- Amanda's cousin, the longest, most well established resident of the city in Amanda's world. He will be frequently called upon in a crisis.

The folks back home:
Mom and Dad- Amanda's loving and supportive parents.
Richie and Jackie- Amanda's eldest brother and his significan other.
Brian and Carmen- The middle brother and his wife.
Ali- Amanda's second college roomate and one of her best friends.
Jenna- Amanda's first college roomate, also one of her best friends.
The Sarah's- Two amazing friends from the Girl Scouts. Sarah O is a school teacher and Sarah H is the mother of delightful Ollie.
Caitlin- not exactly at home, but is the support on the Left Coast. She's mother to Cole and along with the Sarah's and Amanda, they make up the Spice-Girl-singing, boy-terrorizing girl gang "F.L.A.S.H."

I believe that should conclue the major casting at this point. Stay tuned for more pictures and thoughts!