An old fashioned wife

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about what it means to be a wife, both in today's standards and in the way God intended us to be. 
My start as a wife was somewhat stunted, getting married and then having my husband leave so soon after.  But it, I have come to believe, has been stunted by Jared and I living together first.  It has made our start into married life far less climactic that perhaps it is supposed to be.  We are having to muddle out way though figuring out how our roles as married people, as opposed to dating people, have changed.  So, here we are struggling to figure out who is going to do the housework now that Jared is not the stay-at-home partner and who holds the responsibility for income and who holds responsibility for household things.  I would much rather it be the old-fashioned way.  But I don't think my husband entirely agrees.  So there is the conundrum.  I already feel like I'm supposed to do it all, and therefore I'm failing at all of it.  I think Jared feels like he is supposed to lead and earn income, but he just doesn't really want to.  And when he has less to do, he is less productive.  When I have more to do, I am less productive. 
Does anybody feel the same way?  Anybody think I'm crazy?  I feel stuck and need some help!