Ugh...

Curse you Christmas commercials featurning children, hormones, and all of the baby madness in my group of friends... I do NOT want to have a baby!! Honest! At least not right now...
But they're so freakin' cute... and... then... I sorta do. CURSE YOU GENETIC NEED TO REPRODUCE!! CURSE YOU!!!!!!!

Clearly, I suck at blogging!

I just forget to update this thing! Right now, I'm 4 days into being Jared-less for the next 7 months. And boy is it lonely! I am busy working on She Loves Me at the Community Theatre as the stage manager. I'm glad to be finally using that part of my degree! I'm also waiting to interview for an Office Assistant position at the theatre... which it would be AMAZING to get! So, here's hoping! I'll update more later... hopefully before another five months!

This video is amazing and everyone should all watch it.

Everything is amazing and nobody's happy.

Back Home

Well, I'm back from Germany, have been for almost a week now. It's very strange to be home, with nothing concrete in front of me. No classes, no shows, no project deadlines. If you think that all of our young lives we live by the schedule of starts and stops of school and are told what comes next, it's no wonder that there's a whole generation of 20 something set adrift with no idea of how to direct ourselves. We're raised being told we can be anything we want to be! We can achieve our dreams! Then, adulthood is upon us and we have to ask, "what do I do if I don't know what I want to be and I don't know what dreams I want to achieve?" It's a very difficult place to be. Jamie Cullum has a song called TwentySomething that is about exactly that. Check it out... that, and Jamie Cullum is awesome.
So, here I am... cuddling with two needy bears (JareBear and MandaBear) every night and hanging out with my parents on the weekend (don't get me wrong, I love that!). I'll find something soon!

Deutchland, Deutchland über alles....

Well, here I sit at the O'Hare International Airport, sipping a chai latte, ready to begin my next adventure (which is part of the operation entitled "Flying Nacho"). The next stop on the path of vagrancy? Deutchland. Thanks to a boyfriend in the military, I'm continuing my globetrotting ways and following him to Germany. Now, I'm not moving (I wish I were!), but only visiting. We're going to have some time to tour around, hopefully get to see a castle or three, but mostly I'm just visiting Jared. Six months apart this fall/winter is sure going to be a challenge if it's only been three weeks and I'm itching to see him! Anyhow, I'm currently in the early stages of a six hour layover, so you may hear from me again! Or, we'll talk when I'm in Deutchland! Tschus!!

Clarity and Homecoming

I worry
I weigh three times my body
I worry
I throw my fear around

But this morning
There's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted
Only diamonds now remain

By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light pretending
That it somehow lingers on

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't cos it can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to

Was there a second of time I looked around
Should I sail though or drop my anchor down
Is anything enough to kiss the ground
And say I am here now and she is here now

So much waisted in the afternoon
So much sacred in the month of June
How bout you?

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
That it won't and it won't and it won't
And I will pay no mind
Worry 'bout no rainy weather
And I will waste no time
We may not live our lives together


The above lyrics are from the song "Clarity" by John Mayer and it's my song of the moment. The same way that "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's was my song of moving out to New York, "Clarity" is my song about going home. In case you haven't heard yet, I'm on my way home in less than 12 hours. Home to stay. I'm VERY excited about it! As excited, if not more so, than I was to move out here (because this time I know what to expect!).
It has taken me approximately three months of city life to realize it's not for me. I don't like the people, or the pace. Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE New York City and it will always be one of my favorite cities in the world, but I don't care for living here. Now, a lot of people have told me that I didn't give it a chance and that I'm just homesick. Maybe to an extent those things are true. But I know that out here, right now, I can't live the life I would like to have in this city. I can't have have the things I want or the kind of place I want. And right now, having a calm, stable life is what is important to me. I feel comfortable in this move that I'm not leaving in defeat, but in my own terms. I know I could have stayed and done well at American Girl, or at any number of jobs that I have looked into and had positive response for. I think that eventually I could have had enough money to afford a place that's nice (like Zach's is! Oh my goodness!) and been able to afford the perks of living in the city (like a MoMA pass, the BEST place ever!!!), and maybe I'm too impatient, but I want to be happy now. I want to feel comfortable with where I am in my life now and I know that is farther off here than in La Crosse. So, home I go, in time for Christmas and Midsummer Night's Dream. In time to spend time with Jared before he leaves for Germany and then the desert. In time to actually enjoy living instead of feeling like I'm on hold like I have in my time here.
Now, I just have to learn how to really kick start life in La Crosse. I need a real job, hopefully one that I can enjoy. I need a routine. That's what I'm going to work on when I get home!
So you all know, I plan to keep up the blog, just find a new title for it. And keep an eye out for TONS of Christmas pictures and touristy things I've done in the past few days!

I knew I'd have a hard time with this thing...

Hello, all! I always have a hard time keeping up with internet communications, so I knew a blog would be a challenge. So, here's the general update.

I'm finished with my job at Halloween Adventure and have moved on to The American Girl Place. I absolutely love it!! I get to play with little girls and their dolls all day, and you can't beat that! That, and they pay me more than 3 dollars an hour more than HA. I'm just seasonal now, but I'm hoping to stay after the season, and then hopefully work on the 2nd floor with the historical dolls.

Beyond that, I'm working on moving in the next few days onto Manhattan island! I'm excited, but to be honest, I'm going to miss Queens a little bit. But overall, it will be a really good move.

I've been having a really good time between working and hanging out with Kelsey and Jared a lot. It's been nice to spend quality time with them both!

Anyhow, that's the basic update, I'll hopefully have some pictures to post in the next few days!